15 CRAZY DRAGON BALL FAN THEORIES

    Welcome to the Church of Son Goku and the Latter-Day Saiya-jins, the main branch of the virtual temple of the global community of die-hard Goku-tards. Just kidding, I'm not a fanatical otaku. Though I can't forgive you if you mock Dragon Ball before me. Again kidding, I prefer Death Note.
    I tried to Google some crazy fan theories about Dragon Ball and found several links to Screen Rant, Ranker, CBR, The Gamer and Dorkly. I read some eight/nine articles. All of them were mostly filled with the same kind of stuff, even the headings were re-used. I selected sixteen theories for analysis and judgement. Some theories were just plain-stated facts such as Toriyama prefers Goku over Vegeta and the name Super Super Blue was coined by DB fandom. Other hypotheses were obvious for a die-hard fan such as Goku and Frieza's battle on Planet Namek was portrayed in slow motion. A few theories were quite far-fetched such as Piccolo was actually the recreation of Batman. Some deductions are just to acknowledge such as Buu was made to show how Japan sees USA. I mean if Toriyama created Buu to mock Americans, what do I have to say about it? It's Toriyama's world, he can mock whoever he desires.
    But some theories were so powerful that you have to agree with them. Who can deny that Android Sixteen was modeled after Gero's own son? It seems possible. Who can deny that Piccolo was the actual father figure to Gohan? It seems like a logical conclusion. Who can deny that Bulma's mother was an android? She never seems to age much and Dr. Briefs was a brilliant scientist. According to Bulma's own admission, the old perv was the mastermind behind the famous pills (capsules) which can help you downsize heavy machinery and transport them in your pocket.
    But a few other theories seem shaky and feeble. I don't mean to reject them as blatantly stupid but I also can't just help noticing serious flaws in them or realizing that they can be refuted easily. So here are the fifteen theories which I will try to either support or refute. In the end, you may comment your own theories, if anyone is actually reading this blog. Sigh!

I.    Androids were conscious inside Cell's body. When the Imperfect Cell sucked Android 17 into his body and became Semi-Perfect, he tried to absorb Android 18 to reach Perfection. The two Androids didn't die after joining Cell (otherwise we wouldn't have seen 18 being puked out by Cell due to Gohan's blow to his poor stomach) rather they remained alive. By alive, it is obviously meant that they were conscious all the time of the events taking place in the outer world. This is why 17 remarks in DBS that Goku's voice seems familiar.

II.    Goku actually is the savior of earth. Goku is the main protagonist so he will save the planet from evil monsters' onslaught. Duh! Well, there were some fans who rationalized that Goku'd been the reason why earth was always in peril. If it weren't for Goku, Saiyans would have never attacked earth. Raditz came to earth searching for his younger brother. Remove the Saiyans and you have no threat from the Galactic Overlord Frieza. If it weren't for Goku, there would be no Androids or Cell impaling people to suck their muscles dry. Remove all the Saiyan heroes and you get a Bapidi waiting for months to gather energy which he needed for Buu's awakening. In short, Goku was the reason why earth faced so many dangers. Even Piccolo was revived when Pilaf rescued him to piss off Goku. However, this theory is false and doesn't take into account a primary fact: If it weren't for Goku (or, more likely, for Goku hitting his head), mankind would be enslaved by Saiyans. Even if we suppose for argument's sake that Saiyans had never set their eyes on earth and it was Bardock's idea to send his son to a weak-ass species, you cannot rule out the threat posed by the Red Ribbon Army. Goku clearly saved the world when he massacred the Red Ribbon soldiers. Goku was also responsible for Pilaf's downfall otherwise we can't say for sure what kind of monster Pilaf would have become if it weren't for Goku's meddling. In short, this theory has both its pros and cons.

III.    Hybrid Saiyans are more powerful than pure-bloods. Hybrid Saiyans such as Gohan, Goten and Trunks were much more powerful in their childhood than their parents ever were in their youthful days. Doesn't it show that Saiyans become stronger with human blood mixed into theirs? Does human DNA strengthen Saiyan babies? The answer is maybe. One can argue that Gohan, Goten and Trunks had powerful and trained parents (Goku and Vegeta) who passed their genes to them. But this argument only applies on Goten and Trunks who were born after their parents has crossed the limits any previous Saiyan couldn't even imagine to attain. What about Gohan? He was a child prodigy. He was clearly born while his father was still a weakling before other remaining Saiyans (Raditz, Nappa and Vegeta). Gohan's immense strength proves that his status as a hybrid favored his inner hidden potential. We can also clear the mystery involved with Gohan's tail via this theory. He was born with a tail because his Saiyan sign prevailed during his conception. Then, as he got bigger, his human side got stronger so he stopped regrowing. Goten and Trunks were born with already-dominant human side so they never grew tails. Saiyans needed tails to turn into giant apes. When they stopped relying on their ozaru form, their DNA got evolved and their tails ceased to exist. Maybe this is the reason why Goku and Vegeta are tail-less now.

IV.    Frieza was defeated by Goku because he was lazy. Frieza was a child. He was a lazy prince who was born with huge strength and immense power level. He had taught himself to rely on his multiple transformations and, as he'd never encountered any strong adversary, he never trained. Lack of training was the reason why he was humiliated by Goku. Further reliance on technology instead of martial arts ended up with him getting chopped into pieces by Vegeta's son. In DBS, Frieza finally realizes that he can follow the pattern set by Saiyans so he turns into a form scarier than Majin Buu. Conclusion: If Frieza had trained, he would have removed Goku from the pages of existence.

V.    Saiyans and humans evolved from a common ancestor. This theory can be either termed as wild speculation or smart assessment. I can be prone to believe that Saiyans and humans evolved from a single ape-like species. The only question one can ask regarding this theory is: At what point in the evolutionary process did humans part way with Saiyans? We can assume that humans were the first species to split from the monkeys and then Saiyans walked in our wake. But they somehow managed to trap their monkey potential along with the evolutionary progress. Yet again, what about Tuffles? Aren't they more likely to be the evolutionary cousins of Saiyans rather than us? The answer is no if you believe that Saiyans arrived on Planet Plant when Tuffles were already inhabiting that world? So, the theory that links humans and Saiyans is false. We can say that, just as nature favored humans on earth in the competition of natural selection because of our intellect, on some distant planet, nature favored Saiyans in the same competition thanks to their brute strength and undefeated stamina.

His Highness Charles Darwin

VI.    Krillin is the strongest warrior among humans. The supporters of this theory assume that if Goku were a human, Krillin would surpass him. I don't think this is a valid argument. You cannot prefer Krillin over Goku because if Goku weren't a Saiyan, we won't be having any possible relationship between him and Krillin. Although, Krillin is the most powerful man on earth, that's what a DB fan can be inclined to believe. Yamcha doesn't even stand a chance against Krillin and Chao-tsu probably will think thousand times before continuing his ancient rivalry with our bald hero. Tien can be compared with Krillin but odds are in Roshi's student's favor. Krillin is the strongest human being alive. But that's not all of it! Krillin surely tries his best to keep up with his Saiyan group partners. He never shies from stepping in fierce battles or facing dangerous enemies. He was the only human who was there on Namek to fight Frieza. He stood up against Cell (mostly in a filler dream though!) and kicked Perfect Cell in his face multiple times. One certainly needs huge balls to kick Cell in the face! Unfortunately, he got stoned in Buu Saga and we failed to see him using his Ki-Enzan on the fat monster. Ki-Enzan is Krillin's lethal weapon he seldom uses at the right moment. Doesn't it prove that Krillin is not the most talented of all fighters because, if he were, he would've used Ki-Enzan to cut Nappa and Vegeta like a salami? Well, if you are going to criticize Krillin that way, nobody will be left untouched, my friend. Hence, I think it's better not to discuss which warrior is the most skilled.

VII.    Future Trunks' timeline is the main DB timeline. This is like what happens in Rick and Morty when we know that C-137 is the Rick we are watching while he murders his own alternate versions. But C-137 destroys the main timeline and mutates mankind in the reality he currently was a part of. Similarly, it also feels natural to think that Future Trunks' timeline depicted the actual events that would take place. The universe we are currently involved with is an alternate version of the one we had been watching since Goku's meeting with Bulma. So, it seems interesting to think that, in the actual DB timeline (Future Trunks' one), there is no Beerus and the Omni-King had also migrated to the alternate reality (our DB timeline). It actually makes Future Trunks' timeline unique among all other realities. The only godless reality. Yikes!

(Reddit)

VIII.    Cabba and Caulifla are alternate versions of Goku and Vegeta. If you secretly ship Goku and Vegeta (probably because you're gay, no offense meant), this theory is after your heart, brother. Cabba and Caulifla seem to be made for each other (however, lesbians may be inclined to think that about Caulifla and Kale). If they are the alternate versions of Goku and Vegeta, doesn't it show that Goku and Vegeta would certainly have hooked up had one of them been a woman?! You feel like pukin'? #Metoo. By the way, if this theory has any credibility (and I think it has a lot), you can forget about seeing Vegito/Gogeta in the upcoming DBS movie and start expecting a fusion of Vegeta and Broly.

Cabbage and Cauliflower...

IX.    Jiren in a representation of Buddha. All DB fans are aware that there favorite manga/anime franchise is inspired by Journey to the West, a sixteenth century Chinese novel which follows the adventures of a real-life Buddhist monk's travels and adventures. Aren't you familiar with Journey to the West? If you're a literary man and you say no, that's quite embarrassing, dude. Journey to the West is one of the four main classical Chinese novels, the other three being: Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Water Margin and Dream of the Red Chamber. Journey to the West depicts Xuanzang's attempt to collect Buddhist scriptures from the western regions of the world i.e. India and Central Asia. Sun Wukong (whom his Japanese admirers knew as Son Goku) had 72 transformations, could lift almost 8000 kilograms, cover 13000 miles in one jump and is capable of creating his clones with the hair on his head. When the mischievous monkey rebels against the Jade Emperor, the latter calls Buddha for help who imprisons Sun Wukong for five hundred years after which he accompanies Xuanzang in his adventures. If you think Jiren is Buddha then you have to admit Goku restrained himself by not peeing on Jiren's hands! Calling Jiren Buddha seems quite fat-fetched.

X.    How did Cell give birth to Cell Juniors? The theory states that Cell used the reproductive organs of the Androids to create Cell Juniors. Biologically speaking, using an Android's semen and ovary (incest alert!), you can only create a human being. Cell Juniors had Cell's DNA so he clearly used his own reproductive organs instead of the ones possessed by the Androids. How the hell did Cell have reproductive organs? Well, Cell didn't just get the ability of regeneration from Piccolo. Namekians are able to asexually reproduce so no wonder Cell had his own organs to create his own children. I think this theory is false.

XI.    Gohan has PTSD. Team Four Star really nailed it when they portrayed Gohan as having suppressed Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. But, in fact, Gohan was not treated that bad in his childhood. People who believe Gohan was a malnutrition-ed child who fell victim to his father's miserable parenting skills, they don't take into account that Gohan was not a human being. He was a Saiyan and ferocity traveled inside his veins with his blood cells. He begins his traumatic childhood when his uncle kidnaps him. Then his father dies but, of course, Gohan is immediately informed that Goku would be revived with the help of Dragon Balls. You talk about stress, eh? Then he was trained under the active and clever supervision of Piccolo. Gohan clearly seemed to enjoy his days in the wastelands when he got the hang of Piccolo's severe training procedure. Then the moment of stress returns when Saiyans attacked and the little boy lost his friends. But we see him embarking on a journey to Namek where he spends some weeks hiding from Frieza and his goonies. In the end, everyone is alive! Stress, eh? Gohan's childhood adventures helped him become a real man and a respectable fighter. Calling him a patient of PTSD is a grave insult.

XII.    Kami was a coward. DBZA portrayal of Mr. Popo is funny as hell, indeed. Popo seems to be the actual master of the entire world. While everyone is busy facing strange entities, Popo always looks like the strangest of them all. Kami, on the other hand, is lazy. He is supposed to be training humans but instead, he preferred to let Popo handle the lessons. Pecking order, my friends. Well, the theory goes like Kami was aware that if he fused with Piccolo, they would become stronger than the Saiyans. Proof: Kami and Piccolo actually fused and became stronger than Semi-Perfect Cell. Why didn't Kami fuse with Piccolo to fight the threat of Saiyans? Doesn't it show that Kami is a lazy-ass coward?! No, this theory is utterly false. First of all, Piccolo fused with Nail and then trained with Goku and Gohan before he fused with Kami. We can't say with certainty what kind of a warrior we would've gotten had Kami and Piccolo done fusing earlier. Second, Kami threw Piccolo away from his consciousness because the latter was pure evil. Kami was waiting for Piccolo to get rid of his father's evil consciousness and awaken as a pure-heart warrior. Which was the best way to make sure Piccolo's heart is pure other than letting the Namekian himself ask for a fusion? So, whatever Kami did, he did for the best. You dare not speak against God, you blasphemers!

XIII.    Potara Fusion is not always permanent. Goku and Vegeta were misinformed that the Potara Fusion would be permanent. Then, again, they were misguided that the fusion won't last inside Buu's body. Actually, Potara Fusion was permanent for the Kais only. But the theory is false because Old Kai fused with an old witch (no idea how the hell she made it into the sacred planet where no mortal had been ever). Unless that old hag was a Kai herself or another divine being, the theory will end up being mocked at.

XIV.    Goku is naive but a military genius. Goku is a moron. He is naive. He is simple-minded. Hell, he's a bit retarded. He is Peter Griffin with monkey genes. But he is a genius when it comes to war tactics. This is the reason Goku saves the world. He doesn't probably know how to read/write. He cannot get a proper job. He cannot solve mathematical questions. He is no physicist. And I have no idea why I wrote last four sentences. Well, Goku is a hillbilly. But he ain't no pussy! He may be not a better planner than Vegeta and Piccolo. But once you lay down your plan before him, you can rely on Kakarot to act upon it inch by inch. You can see how easily Goku deduces Zamasu's plan in DBS. Before that, he had judged he could defeat Buu but he intentionally let Gotenks take care of him. Why? Because of the same reason why he let Gohan take care of Cell. Goku is also a political genius. He knows the simple reason why all the prophets and messengers never used their superhuman abilities to win wars or convert infidels. Reason: You may be a superman and can solve world problems with your extra-human abilities but you're not gonna last forever; who's gonna take care of your loved ones once you are alive no more? Goku likes to fight because his brain works in that subject. So, next time you laugh at him for being a dickhead, you better remember Goku ain't Mr. Satan.

XV.    Goku is stronger than Vegeta because he is asexual. You remember Sherlock Holmes? He died a virgin most probably. He was asexual. Western people often make fun of him by calling him gay. Why is it difficult for you guys to tolerate asexuality or lack of interest in women? Is being a lecher what it takes to be a man? Goku is also asexual. He has no lust. His only love is food and fight (and his sons). Then how does Goku's asexuality make him stronger than Vegeta? And why the hell Vegeta isn't asexual? Well, Vegeta knew about kissing and stuff. Goku didn't. Vegeta had Trunks with Bulma (strange that she didn't use contraceptives being an accomplished scientist) when he wasn't married to her. Goku had Gohan with Chi Chi because he was married to her. We can clearly see that Vegeta is not asexual while Goku is. Note: Being asexual means not caring about coitus; it doesn't mean one is incapable of it. As Goku focuses his attention entirely on martial arts, he always outsmarts Vegeta. Also, Goku fights for the sake of fun. Vegeta fights to overcome his desire of being the strongest. His egocentric personality lets him down. Furthermore, Bulma is happy with Vegeta. Chi Chi (the name contradicts her buxom figure) leads a unhappy marriage with Goku, a husband who fails to satisfy her, keeps her son (whom she loves more than Goku) under threat of death (how the hell can death frighten her when she knows about Dragon Balls?!), spends most of his time deadd and, when alive, doesn't earn a single damned penny. Goku's failed marriage is another proof that he enjoys martial arts more than a successful life. Vegeta himself stated during the Buu Saga that he had become accustomed to his family life with Bulma and Trunks. Vegeta needed Bapidi's magic to get out of the American dream trap. Vegeta was helpless before his marriage (and he had to enjoy his married life) but Goku can never be lured by matrimonial joys.

    In fact, the last two theories were just made up by myself.